She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She told me I should be a condom model.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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