never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
