It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
