we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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