If i come over, it means nothing
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
