I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize