tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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