we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Oh god it's open bar.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
