I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
