The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
