there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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