our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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