Don't make out with my wife yet
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
