somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
