I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
there is puke in my bra ... again
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