Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
