Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
