Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
