I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
