you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
