plz talk dirty to me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
