If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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