i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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