Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
