it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
