So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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