Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your penis caused this!
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
