He is an equal opportunity slut.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Randomize
