cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
