I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize