apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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