Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The adults are the big ones right?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
