I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
