Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
