we have officially lost it.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
