I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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