i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize