wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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