whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
