Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
