Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
