Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
