am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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