That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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