What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
