I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
