so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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