Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize