Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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