And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
