The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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