At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Randomize
