We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize