I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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