i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
