So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
