Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
