So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
