Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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