I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
