wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
