She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He passed out mid-signature
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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