from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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