Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
