Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
