The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize