well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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