awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
