I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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