I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
