Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
