Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
