i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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