Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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