I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
